00:01:18 Oooh, what have we here? !
00:01:20 "The new Power For-Ever Recharger Chair will keep even the crankiest borg charged all day." "Never go without energy again!" Buzz! Delete! My energy problem is solved!
00:01:34 With unlimited power, those earth brats will never stop me!
00:01:41 What is it, boss?
00:01:42 What'd you read?
00:01:43 The brand "new Power For-Ever" Recharger Chair!
00:01:47 For the low, low price of only five thousand snelfus!
00:01:52 Isn't that...a lotta snelfus?
00:01:56 Yes. It is a little pricey.
00:01:58 But I want it! I need it!
00:02:01 Set up a meeting with my financial advisor -Barton J. Moneyborg!
00:02:07 Surveillance devices, ten thousand snelfus...
00:02:10 ...excavation equipment, seven hundred snelfus...
00:02:13 computer viruses, four thousand snelfus..
00:02:18 implements of destruction-- Ugh!
00:02:20 Face it, Hacker, you've squandered too many snelfus on too many failed schemes.
00:02:26 Listen, Moneyborg, conquering cyberspace isn't cheap!
00:02:31 How much money do I have left?
00:02:33 Taking into account all outstanding expenses, you have exactly... thirty- five snelfus!
00:02:40 Here's my bill!
00:02:41 Thirty-five snelfus?
00:02:43 Good financial advice isn't cheap.
00:02:46 You mean, I'm-- Broke! Busted! You're in the poorhouse, Hacker!
00:02:52 I don't care what house I'm in, Moneyborg - I want the Power For-Ever Recharger Chair!
00:03:00 Advise me how to get the money to buy it!
00:03:04 Ice skates!
00:03:06 skates!
00:03:08 Ice skates?
00:03:10 Yes, ice skates.
00:03:13 That gives me an idea.
00:03:20 Dateline, Penguia.
00:03:21 The hockey world is riveted with the upcoming game for the prestigious Penguia Cup featuring the plucky Penguin Village Voyagers and the undefeated Tundra Town Titans.
00:03:30 The Voyagers are having a, um, difficult season.
00:03:35 In fact, they're last in the league in wins...
00:03:39 And first in defeats.
00:03:42 Ouch!
00:03:42 Twenty years ago, PJ Penguin scored the winning goal in the Cup's most famous match.
00:03:47 Tomorrow...
00:03:47 ...his son, Fluff, will lace up the very same skates in his first-ever game against the Titans!
00:03:56 Are they supposed to be this bad?
00:04:00 But I hear this rivalry is legendary.
00:04:03 That's why Motherboard asked me to write about it for Cybersports Illustrated.
00:04:07 I hope Fluff does okay.
00:04:08 He's so pumped up about playing for his dad's old team!
00:04:11 At least I'll get some good pictures!
00:04:14 Hey, Matty, say CyberSquad.
00:04:17 Team meeting -- locker room - NOW!
00:04:23 If you ask me, it's gonna take more than talk to get this team to play better!
00:04:32 Watch this!
00:04:37 He shoots... he scores!
00:04:40 Cyberblades!
00:04:41 The skates of the future for today!
00:04:45 Be cool!
00:04:47 Be the top scorer on your team!
00:04:49 CYBERBLADES! Guaranteed to make you skate twice as fast - or your money back!
00:04:55 Rule the rink... with CYBERBLADES!
00:05:04 What do you think, guys?
00:05:05 Those skates look pretty cool, huh?
00:05:07 Yeah!
00:05:08 Did you see how fast you can go?
00:05:10 I want a pair!
00:05:11 I bet we could play a lot better if we had those skates.
00:05:15 I say we all buy 'em!
00:05:16 All in favor say 'aye'!
00:05:18 Aye!
00:05:20 Guys! Wait a second!
00:05:22 Tomorrow is the big game!
00:05:23 Instead of rushing off to buy new skates because they look good in a commercial...
00:05:27 shouldn't we be practicing?
00:05:30 Fluff's right.
00:05:31 The big game is tomorrow... and that's why we have to buy those!
00:05:35 Cyberblades! Cyberblades!
00:05:41 Maybe Cyberblades would help the Voyagers play better...
00:05:44 Just because they look good in the commercial doesn't mean they'll make you a great skater.
00:05:49 The commercial says they will.
00:05:50 Yeah, but that's what it's supposed to do - say things that make you want to buy the product!
00:05:54 Well, part of the commercial has to be true ...doesn't it?
00:06:01 Check it out, Fluff.
00:06:03 "Rule the Rink!" That's what we wanna do, right?
00:06:05 Rule the rink - beat the Titans!
00:06:07 You really believe all that stuff about Cyberblades, Bernie?
00:06:11 Yeah, I do!
00:06:13 See what the ad says?
00:06:14 You can skate twice as fast - and be really cool, too.
00:06:17 You do wanna beat the Titans, don't you?
00:06:20 Well, yeah...
00:06:21 but I think I can do that in my Dad's skates.
00:06:23 After all he wore 'em when he played the Titans - and scored the winning goal.
00:06:29 That was your Dad - not you!
00:06:32 Oh, sorry.
00:06:34 C'mon, Fluff, just do it for the team.
00:06:37 Everyone else is getting them.
00:06:39 Sorry, Bern...
00:06:40 I'm gonna stick with my skates.
00:06:42 Suit yourself, Fluff!
00:06:44 I'm buyin' 'em!
00:06:47 You've sold out?
00:06:48 Already?
00:06:49 That's amazing!
00:06:50 I mean...we'll get you more!
00:06:52 My assembly team is working at full capacity!
00:06:56 More skates!
00:06:58 We're workin' on 'em, boss.
00:07:00 Hold the skate right there, Deedee.
00:07:03 Yeoooowwwwwww!
00:07:05 Owwwwwww!
00:07:08 Sorry.
00:07:09 I knew they'd go for it!
00:07:11 These skates are selling like hotcakes.
00:07:19 It's the day of the big game, and the Voyagers are practicing their shots, using the old "angle in equals angle out" rule.
00:07:25 All but one of the team has traded in their old skates for the cool new Cyberblades.
00:07:31 As I watch them practice, they look like a more confident team.
00:07:36 Hey, Captain.
00:07:37 How do you feel about the big game today?
00:07:38 With these new skates - there's no way we can lose!
00:07:41 Like the commercial says, we're gonna "Rule the Rink"!
00:07:49 You shoulda bought the new skates like the rest of us, Fluff.
00:07:52 The whole team's talkin' about you.
00:07:55 They are?
00:07:56 Uh-huh.
00:07:57 They say you're not being a team player.
00:07:59 Do you feel that way, too?
00:08:00 Fluff, I'm your best friend, so I'm gonna give it to ya straight: You need to get the new skates.
00:08:07 C'mon, you'll go twice as fast!
00:08:09 But I don't need new skates to go faster.
00:08:13 I'll show you!
00:08:17 Whoooaaaa!
00:08:21 Ooops.
00:08:24 You do know the game starts in just a few hours, right?
00:08:28 I know, Ice.
00:08:29 I just lost my balance.
00:08:30 If you'd been wearing the new skates, you wouldn't have fallen.
00:08:33 But... I just tripped!
00:08:36 What if you trip like that in the game?
00:08:38 Fluff, you gotta get the Cyberblades or you're not playing!
00:08:43 But I...I...oh, forget it!
00:08:46 I'm going home.
00:08:51 Ah, poor Fluff.
00:08:54 C'mon, Inez.
00:08:54 I've got an idea to help him.
00:08:58 We got a problem, Ice.
00:08:59 We're short a player without Fluff.
00:09:01 Don't worry, Bern, he'll cool down.
00:09:04 He'll see we're right...
00:09:05 and come back wearing the Cyberblades.
00:09:07 Just wait.
00:09:08 With just a few hours till game time, the big question is: Will Fluff be back for the opening face-off...or not?
00:09:21 You should wear the skates you want, Fluff.
00:09:23 And it's all right if they're not my old ones.
00:09:26 But you have to make up your own mind.
00:09:30 OK, dad.
00:09:34 Fluff?
00:09:35 Hey, guys.
00:09:36 The team misses you, Fluff.
00:09:37 They really want you to play.
00:09:40 I really want to play, too.
00:09:42 I just don't know what to do...
00:09:44 I want to wear my dad's skates but I don't want to let my team down -especially Bernie.
00:09:50 He's my best friend!
00:09:51 We got you some Cyberblades, in case you want to give them a try.
00:09:56 Your teammates really think they'll help make them play better.
00:09:59 Maybe they will - but maybe they won't!
00:10:03 Just because my team believes if they wear Cyberblades then they'll play better doesn't mean I have to wear them.
00:10:11 I've got it!
00:10:12 It's all started with that commercial we saw.
00:10:14 But commercials are full of language that tries to persuade you...
00:10:19 Yeah!
00:10:19 Maybe if we look at the commercial again, we can figure out what's persuasion and what's fact.
00:10:25 That'll help us figure out if there are good reasons to use Cyberblades.
00:10:30 If there are, you'll try 'em.
00:10:31 And if there aren't, then we tell my team and maybe then they'll let me wear my dad's skates!
00:10:38 It's worth a try!
00:10:40 C'mon...
00:10:48 He shoots he scores!
00:10:51 Cyberblades!
00:10:52 The skates of the future for today!
00:10:56 Be cool!
00:10:58 Be the top scorer on your team!
00:11:02 Cyberblades!
00:11:03 Guaranteed to make you skate twice as fast - or your money back!
00:11:06 Rule the rink...
00:11:07 with CYBERBLADES!
00:11:13 OK, what does the commercial really say?
00:11:17 It says you can rule the rink!
00:11:19 And that you'll become the top scorer on your team if you use them.
00:11:23 And you'll skate twice as fast - or your money back!
00:11:27 Whoa, there are all kinds of claims in that commercial!
00:11:30 We need to get organized - what's fact, what's just persuasion?
00:11:35 Let's write everything down here, then check them one claim at a time...
00:11:39 This recharger chair will supply me with so much energy that I'll be the most powerful cybervillain in the history of Cyberspace!
00:11:51 Ohh...I can't wait till it gets here!
00:11:53 You sure you have enough money to pay for it, boss?
00:11:57 Of course I do!
00:11:58 We're making so much money on these skates, it'll be a drop in the bucket!
00:12:03 What if the Power For-Ever Recharger Chair doesn't work?
00:12:06 Yeah.
00:12:07 What if it's a lemon?
00:12:09 No problem!
00:12:10 Look at the ad!
00:12:12 It says right here:" And the final claim the commercial makes is that Cyberblades make you skate twice as fast.
00:12:26 Okay.
00:12:26 Now let's separate the true facts from the false arguments the commercial makes just to get us to want to buy the skates.
00:12:33 This isn't gonna be easy.
00:12:35 Let's start with the claim that you'll be the top scorer on your team.
00:12:39 That sounds like a good reason to buy.
00:12:41 Yeah, it does sounds good...but wait!
00:12:45 If everyone on the team has the skates, we can't all be the one and only "top" scorer!
00:12:51 Good reasoning, Fluff.
00:12:52 So that claim can't be true.
00:12:53 If it can't be true - then it's a false argument - and a bad reason to buy.
00:13:00 Next!
00:13:01 "Rule the rink." How about that one, Fluff?
00:13:03 Would you buy the skates if you could "rule the rink"?
00:13:06 Well, yeah...but what does that really mean?
00:13:10 That you'll be the best?
00:13:11 You'd need lots more than good skates for that.
00:13:14 Right...
00:13:15 Claiming you'll rule the rink doesn't make it true.
00:13:18 That takes us to the money back guarantee.
00:13:22 What's a guarantee?
00:13:23 It's like a promise.
00:13:24 If the skates don't do what the commercial says -you can return them and get your money back.
00:13:30 That sounds like a good thing.
00:13:32 It is.
00:13:33 A true fact and a good reason to buy.
00:13:36 OK, last claim.
00:13:38 Cyberblades make you skate 'twice as fast'.
00:13:40 Would you play better if the Cyberblades make you skate twice as fast as your Dad's skates?
00:13:46 Well, sure!
00:13:48 But how do we know that's true?
00:13:50 Now that's a claim we can test!
00:14:01 It's almost game time, Ice.
00:14:03 Maybe you should let Fluff play wearing his dad's skates.
00:14:06 Sorry, Bernie.
00:14:07 We can't risk it.
00:14:08 But we don't have enough players.
00:14:12 I'm worried, Didge.
00:14:13 It doesn't look like Fluff is coming back.
00:14:15 Matt, we need another player.
00:14:17 I wish I could, Ice...
00:14:18 but I'm covering the game for Motherboard.
00:14:21 Digit?
00:14:23 Me? Go out there?
00:14:25 It's an emergency, Didge. We need you.
00:14:30 The Titans are coming on the ice!
00:14:33 YOIKES! Look at those guys!
00:14:37 Don't worry! We've got Cyberblades!
00:14:40 There's no way we can lose!
00:14:48 Matty? Whaddaya think?
00:14:51 Digit, the most famous cyboid in cyberspace, is a last minute substitution for the Voyagers.
00:14:56 No he's not!
00:14:57 The question is, can the little bird with the big heart make a difference?
00:15:02 Go get 'em, Didge!
00:15:06 Ok.
00:15:07 The things I do for my friends.
00:15:12 Okay, Fluff, three laps with the Cyberblades - then three with your Dad's skates.
00:15:18 That's a fair test.
00:15:19 It should tell us which skates are the fastest.
00:15:22 Ready?
00:15:23 Ready!
00:15:24 Go!
00:15:33 Ten point four seconds.
00:15:34 Ten point four seconds - got it!
00:15:48 Eight point five seconds for the last run in the old skates.
00:15:52 Got it!
00:15:54 So...which skates are faster?
00:15:57 See for yourself!
00:15:58 All eights compared to tens!
00:16:02 I knew it!
00:16:03 I'm faster with my Dad's skates!
00:16:05 The Cyberblades didn't make you go twice as fast - you actually went slower!
00:16:11 So far there's only one good reason to buy Cyberblades - the guarantee that you can take them back if they don't do what the commercial says.
00:16:20 And they don't!
00:16:21 Right!
00:16:22 The rest of the commercial is filled with false and misleading claims!
00:16:27 C'mon, guys.
00:16:27 I gotta talk to the team!
00:16:30 Near the end of the first period, it's Titans two, Voyagers nothing.
00:16:34 Is the big game a big mismatch?
00:16:40 Oooh, that hurt!
00:16:49 The first period ends with the score: Titans three - Voyagers nothing.
00:16:55 Okay, so they got off to a great start - but we have the Cyberblades.
00:17:00 We should be twice as fast as they are!
00:17:02 We should rule the rink!
00:17:04 Hey, guys!
00:17:05 Fluff, you're back!
00:17:07 Yeah I'm back - and I've got news for you.
00:17:10 Those Cyberblades aren't what that commercial says they are.
00:17:15 They aren't?
00:17:16 Nope.
00:17:17 We wrote down every reason the commercial says to buy the skates.
00:17:19 And we found out they aren't very good reasons at all.
00:17:23 Oh yeah?
00:17:24 What's wrong with 'em?
00:17:25 We'll show you.
00:17:26 The trick is you gotta pay attention to what the commercial really says.
00:17:31 Take reason one: the skates will make you the team's top scorer.
00:17:34 But think about it - that doesn't make any sense.
00:17:38 Right.
00:17:39 Everyone here has the Cyberblades.
00:17:41 But everyone can't be the top scorer on the same team.
00:17:45 It's not possible, so it can't be true.
00:17:49 She's got a point, Ice.
00:17:51 Yeah, I guess.
00:17:53 But how about "rule the rink"?
00:17:55 You gotta admit, that's a good reason to buy.
00:17:58 It does sound good - but you have to get past that and ask, what does it really mean?
00:18:04 If it means to be the best, then it isn't just skates that make that possible, it's skill.
00:18:10 True...
00:18:11 So "rule the rink" isn't a good reason to buy, either.
00:18:15 It's a false claim.
00:18:17 The next reason is the guarantee.
00:18:19 That's the only good reason we found to buy the skates.
00:18:22 If you don't like 'em - you can get your money back.
00:18:25 Wait - what about "twice as fast"?
00:18:27 That's definitely a good reason to buy 'em.
00:18:30 Just one small problem - it's not true!
00:18:34 Cyberblades aren't twice as fast.
00:18:37 That's right.
00:18:38 Fluff tested them against his Dad's skates.
00:18:40 And he skated faster in his Dad's skates than he did in the Cyberblades!
00:18:45 Wow...and I thought the new skates would make us better.
00:18:50 That commercial fooled all of us...
00:18:53 except you, Fluff.
00:18:54 Listen, everybody, you can't win a big game just by buying fancy new skates.
00:18:59 You win because you work hard - and play as a team - and never say "I quit".
00:19:06 Ooh, this kid's on a roll!
00:19:08 Remember, it's what's in your heart that counts, not what's on your feet.
00:19:13 Let's go out there and give it our all!
00:19:16 What'dya say?
00:19:17 ..
00:19:19 So Ice, you gonna let me play?
00:19:21 Hey, I never really liked these new skates anyway.
00:19:27 Okay, Voyagers - put on our old skates and let's take the game to the Titans!
00:19:35 As the last period gets underway, the Voyagers look like a different team.
00:19:43 Great move, Fluff!
00:19:44 Way to go!
00:19:45 Ice scores the first goal for the Voyagers on a beautiful pass from Fluff ...making the score three to one in favor of the Titans.
00:20:00 The Voyagers are suddenly playing with energy, teamwork and passion!
00:20:04 Go, Voyagers, go!
00:20:06 We're only one goal behind!
00:20:14 The Voyagers tie the score with just ten seconds left in the game!
00:20:18 Can they complete this astonishing comeback?
00:20:37 Another goal for the Voyagers!
00:20:39 What an amazing finish!
00:20:40 The Voyagers come from behind to win the big game!
00:20:42 And Fluff - just like his father did twenty years ago - scores the winning goal!
00:20:49 Way to go, guys!
00:20:51 What's this?
00:20:58 Made in the Northern Frontier?
00:21:03 Gorgeous...
00:21:05 The Power For-Ever Recharger Chair is all mine!
00:21:10 Now, how does this thing work?
00:21:14 Uh, Boss-- Can't you see I'm busy?
00:21:18 Turn on A, flip switch B...
00:21:22 Ahhhhh, the music of cyberworld domination!
00:21:29 But Boss, we-- Not now, you dunce bucket!
00:21:33 I'm about to give myself the energy boost!
00:21:37 I know, but-- Silence!
00:21:39 Just let me enjoy my-- Eeeyaah!
00:21:44 W-W-W-W-What's wrong?
00:21:51 We were tryin' to tell you -there's a big warning label here.
00:21:55 Danger!
00:21:56 Do not wear wig gel when using this product.
00:22:00 May permanently damage the energy source." Why didn't you tell me?
00:22:08 Cyberblades Incorporated.
00:22:12 They didn't?
00:22:13 Okay, okay, you'll get it.
00:22:15 Deedee, send another refund check to Penguia.
00:22:19 Will do, Buzzy.
00:22:21 What?
00:22:21 Who said they could get their money back?
00:22:24 Uh, you did, Boss.
00:22:26 Your commercial said the Cyberblades are guaranteed to go twice as fast or your money back.
00:22:31 And they didn't go twice as fast.
00:22:34 They didn't?
00:22:35 What, that gives me an idea.
00:22:38 Give me that!
00:22:42 This is The Hacker.
00:22:44 I want to return my Power For-Ever Recharger Chair.
00:22:47 Your ad says satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.
00:22:55 Fine print?
00:22:56 What fine print?
00:22:58 "May not be returned if removed from its original packaging." I've been tricked!
00:23:06 That's...not...fairrrrrrr!

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